brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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