oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
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All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
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Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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