You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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