In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
