at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
