I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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