Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
