perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
