all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
