Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
