I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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