...so i touched it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
