you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize