Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
