Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize