great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
