You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
