so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we're making bets on your personal life
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
