PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize