Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
no, he came in my armpit
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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