I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
