I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
