i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Are we still banned from the library?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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