office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
