It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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