So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
