I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
