New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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