she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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