Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
