we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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