Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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