it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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