Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize