God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
