And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
