Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
