Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
