Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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