Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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