So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
