Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
