are you still at the devil's house?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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