ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
