I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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