According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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