I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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