Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
