been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
