Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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