i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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