I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
