but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
