so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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