Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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