How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
