I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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