i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
