There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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