I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
